Insomnia

I can't sleep. Try as I might, the comfort of nothingness just does not take me tonight. Somehow the feeling of loneliness seemed extremely strong, with music not even assuaging it. Looking out the window at the dark city, tiny points of lights left on here and there, the empty deserted streets. If I turned out to be last person alive on this planet, I wouldn't be too surprised. Writing this post on TextEdit made it worse, while I do not profess to be an internet addict, not being able to get a connection at this hour is extremely strange, it's as if the powers that may be have conspired to cut me off from communicating with anyone other than myself. Lately I have been finding myself in situations that I have something to say, yet I bite my tongue to swallow it back. What am I afraid of? This is a question I ask myself now as I reflect on it. Is it because that I have gained so much that I am afraid to lose it all? A high-stakes poker game some might call it, with all your chips riding on straight flush... but even that can be undone by someone else with a royal flush. As good as your cards may seem, there is always that remote possibility that someone will best you. Sigh. It's too early/late to be pondering on such. Sleep does not beckon, but I shall try nonetheless.