Jom does not live here anymore

How would that sound for a new blog title?

Taking Stock

It's the time of the year again where the holiday cheer pervades into every aspect of our lives, from having our ears forcibly intruded with christmas tunes, decorations everywhere, and of course, people frantically shopping. On a second thought, when are we NOT shopping?

Anyway it's usually about this time of the year that I sort of sit back and take stock of what had happened through the course of the year, not just in my own private life, but well... life as a whole, including some events that probably don't concern me at all. A brief recollection was sobering indeed, 2008 hasn't exactly been the best of years. Perhaps in a way, I can even say that it probably is the worst. On the flip side, once you've hit rock bottom, it shouldn't go any other way than up from then on right? Right... I already hear the cynics and skeptics going "tsk!"

Despite all the death, doom, and gloom, there nonetheless have been a few bright sparks that marked an otherwise lousy year. Family - Only in times of crisis will you realise the unconditional love and support family members can give. Friends - I'm glad they are there. All the time in the quiet unobtrusive way friends are, they are always around. We may not meet, but it does not mean the connection is broken.

Perhaps in a strange, warped, twisted way, 2008 would be sort of a year that I "really grew up". Things that I thought impossible... well... perhaps weren't that impossible in reality to happen after all. And it's not just one particular thing, but several. Like a good buddy of mine A said, "Nothing surprises me anymore". Perhaps he really is right. After having gone through a similar experience.

This has also been a year where I finally sort of gained a deeper understanding and insight into the course I am taking - Anthropology. An understanding into its basic concepts and how its applications may be translated into real-world everyday life. In how we (I mean, I) think, perceive, and subsequently act on the things we come across. It has sort of opened up my mind to alot of things which well... as I said above "impossible". Looking at them in a different light, and understanding them in a different way.

Having already "wasted" slightly over a quarter of a century worth of life on learning life's lessons, some the hard way, perhaps it is time to finally start living it the way it should. Thanks to the strange confluence of events and support from close friends, this year would also mark me setting into motion a plan that is slightly more concrete than just mere dreams, thoughts, and talk.

With 11 days to go, Farewell 2008. Good riddance! And Hello 2009 :) May you be better than the last.

Weekend of many events

It was fun to be a tourist yet again in what I have fast come to regard as a 2nd home, with D and P (Big thanks to both of you for the company!) stopping over here in Jogja on their cross Java-Bali trip. It certainly made a what is usually mundane weekend into a fun-filled one. The only one disappointment would be that the weather up at Kaliurang was not cooperative, and we did not get to see the top of the majestic Gunung Merapi.

A few nights ago, I almost subconsciously blurted out a phrase which I have not uttered for a long long time. Why almost? I haven't got a clue. But I somehow caught myself at the last moment before the words left my lips. Did it come out of my heart? Or did it come out of an old habit? Maybe it's because I wasn't sure that's why I caught myself. To only say them when I really mean it, rather than it just being a flippant remark.

The way things are obscured now are not unlike how the clouds had obscured the view of Merapi. It could remain clouded for a mere 15 minutes. Or stay shrouded and hidden for god knows how long more.

16 days more to go. *tik tok tik tok*

Mean what you say?

Personally I haven't had a problem with this, I usually already do. Well... not exactly. Which is usually the exact phrase that people closer to me would realise what I am about to say or had said was "veiled" to a certain extent. Of course, usually (read: hopefully) they are for civil reasons rather than willfully just saying something just for the sake of saying it.

Maybe my past experiences (read: bad and negative) had made me somewhat cynical to what people say to me... that it's hard to just take things at face value anymore. Over-analysing some might call it? But one experience too many of words of endearment or affection being uttered without real feeling behind them have made me a little skeptical.

Someone please clobber me over the head. Why am I casting doubt when there is no reason to.