One in a million

I had never been lucky in lottery before. But that don't matter to me. Because I was lucky just this once.


One in a Million - Larry Graham

Love had played its games on me so long
I started to believe I'd never find anyone
Doubt had tried to convince me to give in, said, "You can't win"
But one day the sun came a shining through
The rain had stopped and the skies were blue
And oh, what a revelation to see
Someone was saying "I love you" to me

A one in a million chance of a lifetime
And life showed compassion
And sent to me a stroke of love called "You"
A one in a million you

I was a lonely man with empty arms to fill
Then I found a piece of happiness to call my own
And life is worth living again
For to love you to me is to live

A one in a million chance of a lifetime
And life showed compassion
And sent to me a stroke of love called "You"
A one in a million you
A one in a million chance of a lifetime
And life showed compassion
And sent to me a stroke of love called "You"
One in a million you
A one in a million you

Faded memories

Have you ever dug deep into the deeper recesses of your mind and realise that there are some things that no matter how hard you try to recall, you can't seem to be able to? Yet some, though easily a decade or more ago, remain as clear and detailed like it was just a couple of hours ago.

I'm starting to think that perhaps these are memories that may have been consciously (or sub-consciously) held on and kept alive by oneself. And sometimes it becomes terrifying that as much as you have been trying to keep the memory fresh and alive, it is slowly but surely fading away, and you don't want it to happen. Maybe this is the confusion faced by sufferers of Alzheimer's disease. Where the past is but a hazy blur.

If my memory could be presented as hard disk drive sectors, it would probably be one that would appear to be in dire need of defragmentation. With so many old memories having disappeared over time, some faded, some forcibly deleted, and new ones being added in all the time. I would like it very much to be optimised to storing new memories.

It's been barely 6 weeks, counting back, but yet it has somehow seemed way longer than that. How had that been possible, I frequently ask myself. Yet no answer comes to mind. Is this what they call "a real connection"?

Time really is a funny thing.

Home is where...

I might have said this before, but I really am not able to remember for sure. Just where is "home" nowadays. Is it, like they say, where you hang your hat? Or is it where your loyalties are? Or is it where your heart is? Or is it...

The truth is that it is all those things, and probably even more. I've never quite considered here to be "home", though it certainly has been quite awhile... and my body has long since found the bed back in SG to be rather alien, only getting a good night's rest when I eventually get back here to Jogja. Living out of a 1 bedroom (not to mention also luggage that is never really fully unpacked) sort of grows on me.

Catching a flight used to be bring much anticipation because it would mean a holiday of some sort. Not that it isn't now, but it has become something akin to taking a bus.

I certainly look forward to the day when I catch that final flight back to a place called home, and re-plant my roots there once again. I miss it.