Where are you now?

遗忘 - 183 Club

好不好
我想知道
离开我以后
是否很幸福
忘不了
又得不到
这痛苦
又太清楚
where are u now?
现在过得好不好
i'll be home
等待你的回答

*don't say good-bye
等你回来
突然的离开
叫我如何能释怀
我会更勇敢
只要你回来*
where are u now?
别再假装记不了
我的好
被你统统都遗忘掉
where are u now?
现在的你好不好
不重要
你已不再爱我
where are u now?
别再装作你忘啦
我的好

早就被你都遗忘掉
where are u ?
u took it away from me
i will hold on for ever more

别擦去
这最美好的过去
我们相爱过的记忆

And poof they are gone

Today while walking back in a light drizzle, I suddenly realised that the small community of squatters who lived beside the river near where I stay, has up and gone. Suddenly it seemed abit strange, with the landscape having changed as they dismantled their make-shift residences too. From the looks of it, they might have moved on rather than being forcibly evicted. I wonder if they have moved on to something better or have they just plain given up trying to eke out an existence here in the city.

Recently R and me were talking about ambitions, and thanks to his suggestion, I decided to make a 100-things-to-accomplish-before-I-die list... Seems like a good idea as life has been sort of aimless of late. Perhaps it's about time I put it back into perspective.

Stay tuned for that list...

Self validation

Have you ever felt the need to... well... as per the title of this post, self-validate. I know the pundits of i-do-what-i-want-without-fear-or-regret camp will ask why should there even be a need to do this.

Just to quote someone:

Enough is enough when:
(1) the tears ducts refuse working
(2) the heart stiffens
(3) the brain steps forward and take control
(4) the words gets lesser
(5) the distance grows

Today I suddenly felt a need to self-validate. To know for sure what I felt then was real and true. Read some letters. Listened to some songs. Looked at a few photos. It worked and reversed points 1, 2, and 3 completely.

I guess I haven't had enough yet.

Conflict

They say that conflict is omnipresent, it pervades into our very consciousness as human beings, as we are creatures of thought. How true it is, and how lucky folks are in Singapore to not have to face conflict in the violent form, something which cannot be said the same of many other emerging countries. They ask me if there is a solution to inter-ethnic violence, honestly? I think unless our creator takes our minds and run it through a food blender, the possibility to that end looks rather bleak. Unless we meet a entire different species altogether, that becomes a common enemy. There will always be fighting.

Conflict is present too now, right here in my mind. A war of cataclysmic proportions being waged on the battleground made out of synapses. A slow war of attrition that is gradually eating me up from inside. Will one side win? Or will it consume me whole, tainting perception and outlook then on. I wish I had a hand in all this. Unfortunately, it seems that I am but a spectator as I watch events unfold.

From dusk to... dawn?

黄昏
词:陈信荣 曲:周传雄

过完整个夏天
忧伤并没有好一些
开车行驶在公路无际无边
有离开自己的感觉
唱不完一首歌
疲倦还剩下黑眼圈
感情的世界伤害在所难免
黄昏再美终要黑夜
依然记得从你口中说出再见坚决如铁
昏暗中有种烈日灼身的错觉
黄昏的地平线
划出一句离别
爱情进入永夜
依然记得从你眼中滑落的泪伤心欲绝
混乱中有种热泪烧伤的错觉
黄昏的地平线
割断幸福喜悦
相爱已经幻灭

-----

Dusk


After the whole summer,
my sadness still did not improve.
Driving my car on the vast, boundless roads,
I feel that I’m getting out of touch with myself.
The song that I could not finish singing,
Left me so tired that there are rings around my eyes.
It is inevitable to get hurt in the realm of love,
No matter how beautiful the dusk is, the dark night must follow.
I recall that you said, “Goodbye” with a tone of steel,
I had a delusion of being burnt by the sun in the darkening dusk.
The horizon at dusk,
Drew out your line of, “Farewell.”
Love plunges into eternal night.
I still remember the tears falling from your desolated eyes.
In the confusion, there is an illusion of being burnt by the hot tears.
The horizon at dusk,
Severed happiness and joy.
Love has already been destroyed.

Chairs

Why am I dedicating this few minutes of my life to rambling about a piece of furniture which most people only regard as a place to plonk their bottoms.

Well... first of all, they come in all sorts of different styles, some with elaborate carvings, some are made from wood, some from stone, or like your kopitiam chairs... they are made out of plastic. Some have nice fluffy cushions, some are hard and unforgiving for those with scrawny asses... some are high, some are low. You get my drift.

Now if you think about it... aren't they very much like humans? Some make you want to get up and walk away after just a short period, while others make you want to sit there and not get up forever.

You look for them when you're tired. But rudely push it out of the way when you're in a hurry.

They put with your rude obnoxiousness (farting, etc) without complaining... well... unless one of the legs break or something, heh.

Everyone rushes for the prime seat. Just like how the most handsome or most beautiful attract suitors. And even when it is already occupied, there will be people hovering around, waiting for you to get up so that they can claim the seat as theirs.

Turn to your chair now and say "I love you", before someone snatches it away before you get there.

1 knife in the heart. 2 in the stomach.

Haven't been writing for a couple of days as I struggled a little with a bout of stomach flu, or food poisoning, or whatever the hell it was that turned my digestive system upside down. Anyway I'm back, well... mostly anyway.

Moving on to gripe of the day. Handwriting. Sure, everyone has their own personal style and quirks. But please please please remember when you are writing something with the expectation of someone reading it, WRITE LEGIBLY. What's the bloody use of writing when nobody else can read it.

Alright enough of the bitching and moaning from me. Back to working on that assignment...