Inspirasi

I've always wondered why I seem to have the inspiration to write, and not just here on the blog but things in general, only late at night. Words for my thousands-of-words-target papers never seem to be forthcoming with the sun still up in the sky. Of course blogging is even easier with a glass of cold beer and some soul-wrenching music playing in the background. Lately I've been complaining about a lack of motivation to do alot of things, with sleep seeming the only escape from the doldrums that has pervaded just about every aspect of my life. Can it be true? That an artist really needs to be in constant contact with his muse or lose his inspiration entirely.

Truly

Truly (Lionel Ritchie)

Girl, tell me only this
That I have your heart for always
And you want me by your side
Whispering the words
I'll always Love you!
And forever, I will be your lover
and I know if you really care
I will always be there!
Now, I need to tell you this
There's no other Love like your Love
And as long as I live
I'll give you all the joy
My heart and soul can give!
Let me hold you
I need to have you near me
And I feel with you in my arms
This love will last forever!
'Cause I'm truly
Truly in Love with you, girl
I'm truly
Head over heels with your Love
I need you
And with your love I'm free
And truly
You know, you're alright with me!
Truly

Painted white lines

Lines. They mark and divide. But yet people do not necessarily heed them. Stepping over. Or stopping short. The recent "road improvement" efforts here in Jogja city seem to be centered on painting new markings on the roads. Not that it makes the traffic any more orderly, the same reckless overtaking, against the flow of traffic stunts still are a norm. So... what the hell for? This reminds me vaguely of irritating behaviour at train stations with commuters squeezing to get on even before those wanting to get off can exit the carriage. There are lines for sure. But for all intents and purposes, it could be painted on those inconsiderate people's foreheads. They can't see them.

Lines. They don't necessarily have to be physical in nature. Many exist in an imagined reality which only our minds can see. Invisible boundaries. Drawn. Re-drawn. Erased. Drawn again. A never ending process as we negotiate the uncertain pathway that we call life. I wonder when would come a time that a line, wrongly drawn, or not drawn, be the downfall of me.

Insomnia

I can't sleep. Try as I might, the comfort of nothingness just does not take me tonight. Somehow the feeling of loneliness seemed extremely strong, with music not even assuaging it. Looking out the window at the dark city, tiny points of lights left on here and there, the empty deserted streets. If I turned out to be last person alive on this planet, I wouldn't be too surprised. Writing this post on TextEdit made it worse, while I do not profess to be an internet addict, not being able to get a connection at this hour is extremely strange, it's as if the powers that may be have conspired to cut me off from communicating with anyone other than myself. Lately I have been finding myself in situations that I have something to say, yet I bite my tongue to swallow it back. What am I afraid of? This is a question I ask myself now as I reflect on it. Is it because that I have gained so much that I am afraid to lose it all? A high-stakes poker game some might call it, with all your chips riding on straight flush... but even that can be undone by someone else with a royal flush. As good as your cards may seem, there is always that remote possibility that someone will best you. Sigh. It's too early/late to be pondering on such. Sleep does not beckon, but I shall try nonetheless.

Are you afraid?

From the Cape No.7 sound track... a simple but meaningful song.

愛你愛到死

作詞 嚴云農
作曲 呂聖斐
編曲 呂聖斐

Oh Oh Oh
愛你 愛到不怕死 Baby
愛我 請你讓我瘋狂一次

愛是什麼東西 不過就是種遊戲
情是什麼玩意 不就是玩玩而已
Honey Darling Baby 或是叫我小親親
只要哄我高興 冥王星都陪你去

Oh 愛你 愛到不怕死
但你若劈腿 就去死一死

Oh Oh Oh
愛你 愛到不怕死 Baby
愛我 請你讓我瘋狂一次

Progress

A rather interesting discussion on the topic of progress came up recently during a Evolution and Diffusion Theory lecture recently on just what it is. Many definitions were offered, but none seem to be quite satisfactory after being examined from a neutral standpoint. The ideals of civilisation, cities, technology, industry, and such, are they really what makes (or breaks) progress? Or are they in fact just means of enslaving ourselves to a system that hinders it.

Incidentally this particular vein of thought played out on my mind during the pre-KKN survey trip to Petungkriyono over the last weekend. As "backward", isolated, and simple as their lives may be in remote mountain villages, as a people they are no less "civilised" as the city folk, and in more ways than one, I would even dare say much more so in terms of manners and hospitality.

Even though it was but a short survey trip, it has given me plenty to think about in terms of life and what one really wants out from it. The actual 7 week stint there would give me even more time to think about those things...

And suddenly, all was right in the world

Have you ever experienced a moment, where you could be doing anything, when suddenly you have this feeling that everything was just perfect and all was right in the world? A feeling of peace and contentment that wraps around like a warm blanket on a cold windy night, taking away the chill that has pierced clean through to your bones. That you don't want to move or take a breath even, for fear that it would vanish just like that. Playing and replaying it in your mind's eye to immortalise it forever in your memory.

Is this a die-hard romantic kind of thing? Hmmm.