Faded memories

Have you ever dug deep into the deeper recesses of your mind and realise that there are some things that no matter how hard you try to recall, you can't seem to be able to? Yet some, though easily a decade or more ago, remain as clear and detailed like it was just a couple of hours ago.

I'm starting to think that perhaps these are memories that may have been consciously (or sub-consciously) held on and kept alive by oneself. And sometimes it becomes terrifying that as much as you have been trying to keep the memory fresh and alive, it is slowly but surely fading away, and you don't want it to happen. Maybe this is the confusion faced by sufferers of Alzheimer's disease. Where the past is but a hazy blur.

If my memory could be presented as hard disk drive sectors, it would probably be one that would appear to be in dire need of defragmentation. With so many old memories having disappeared over time, some faded, some forcibly deleted, and new ones being added in all the time. I would like it very much to be optimised to storing new memories.

It's been barely 6 weeks, counting back, but yet it has somehow seemed way longer than that. How had that been possible, I frequently ask myself. Yet no answer comes to mind. Is this what they call "a real connection"?

Time really is a funny thing.