It's me again

Having gone on-off blogging for the better part of the past few years, I surprised myself by wanting to pick up that "blogging pen" and start writing once again. Not that it would actually matter, for most of my postings have been inane ramblings which has no particular significance nor interest for the casual reader.

But just recently, after reading the unkster's blog, or actually it has become fm's personal blog, LOL!, the itch to just blog for the sake of blogging has returned.

Perhaps I should have started this blog sooner, it might have relieved me of some anguish, stress, confusion, and a whole myriad of other emotions that I have been going through in the past one week that I have been back here in Singapore. Well certainly there have been interesting, some might say alarming, events in the news, but for me, they have all faded into the background due to other much more important things that have unfolded in my life of late.

What can I say or do? I'm already doing all that I can... and sadly that is all that I can do.

As the minutes tick away to my impending departure (yet again) for my home away from home out there in the shadow of Gunung Merapi, I've come no closer to getting an answer which I so desperately seek yet unable to obtain. OP commented that I seem to be looking better, he senses that I've come to some sort of acceptance as compared to the anguished state that led us to finishing a bottle of my dad's collection while shooting the breeze on the balcony. But is it acceptance really? or have I just lapsed into hopeless despair.

How different would this round be when I step through the security checks to go into the departure lounge? I'd find out in about 12 hours time... And sadistic as it sounds, I hope that it would be as painful if not more compared to the previous times.