Jom does not live here anymore

How would that sound for a new blog title?

Taking Stock

It's the time of the year again where the holiday cheer pervades into every aspect of our lives, from having our ears forcibly intruded with christmas tunes, decorations everywhere, and of course, people frantically shopping. On a second thought, when are we NOT shopping?

Anyway it's usually about this time of the year that I sort of sit back and take stock of what had happened through the course of the year, not just in my own private life, but well... life as a whole, including some events that probably don't concern me at all. A brief recollection was sobering indeed, 2008 hasn't exactly been the best of years. Perhaps in a way, I can even say that it probably is the worst. On the flip side, once you've hit rock bottom, it shouldn't go any other way than up from then on right? Right... I already hear the cynics and skeptics going "tsk!"

Despite all the death, doom, and gloom, there nonetheless have been a few bright sparks that marked an otherwise lousy year. Family - Only in times of crisis will you realise the unconditional love and support family members can give. Friends - I'm glad they are there. All the time in the quiet unobtrusive way friends are, they are always around. We may not meet, but it does not mean the connection is broken.

Perhaps in a strange, warped, twisted way, 2008 would be sort of a year that I "really grew up". Things that I thought impossible... well... perhaps weren't that impossible in reality to happen after all. And it's not just one particular thing, but several. Like a good buddy of mine A said, "Nothing surprises me anymore". Perhaps he really is right. After having gone through a similar experience.

This has also been a year where I finally sort of gained a deeper understanding and insight into the course I am taking - Anthropology. An understanding into its basic concepts and how its applications may be translated into real-world everyday life. In how we (I mean, I) think, perceive, and subsequently act on the things we come across. It has sort of opened up my mind to alot of things which well... as I said above "impossible". Looking at them in a different light, and understanding them in a different way.

Having already "wasted" slightly over a quarter of a century worth of life on learning life's lessons, some the hard way, perhaps it is time to finally start living it the way it should. Thanks to the strange confluence of events and support from close friends, this year would also mark me setting into motion a plan that is slightly more concrete than just mere dreams, thoughts, and talk.

With 11 days to go, Farewell 2008. Good riddance! And Hello 2009 :) May you be better than the last.

Weekend of many events

It was fun to be a tourist yet again in what I have fast come to regard as a 2nd home, with D and P (Big thanks to both of you for the company!) stopping over here in Jogja on their cross Java-Bali trip. It certainly made a what is usually mundane weekend into a fun-filled one. The only one disappointment would be that the weather up at Kaliurang was not cooperative, and we did not get to see the top of the majestic Gunung Merapi.

A few nights ago, I almost subconsciously blurted out a phrase which I have not uttered for a long long time. Why almost? I haven't got a clue. But I somehow caught myself at the last moment before the words left my lips. Did it come out of my heart? Or did it come out of an old habit? Maybe it's because I wasn't sure that's why I caught myself. To only say them when I really mean it, rather than it just being a flippant remark.

The way things are obscured now are not unlike how the clouds had obscured the view of Merapi. It could remain clouded for a mere 15 minutes. Or stay shrouded and hidden for god knows how long more.

16 days more to go. *tik tok tik tok*

Mean what you say?

Personally I haven't had a problem with this, I usually already do. Well... not exactly. Which is usually the exact phrase that people closer to me would realise what I am about to say or had said was "veiled" to a certain extent. Of course, usually (read: hopefully) they are for civil reasons rather than willfully just saying something just for the sake of saying it.

Maybe my past experiences (read: bad and negative) had made me somewhat cynical to what people say to me... that it's hard to just take things at face value anymore. Over-analysing some might call it? But one experience too many of words of endearment or affection being uttered without real feeling behind them have made me a little skeptical.

Someone please clobber me over the head. Why am I casting doubt when there is no reason to.

Old songs, friends and bookends

For someone who can hardly sing, or even play a musical instrument, it perhaps is strange that music have such a big influence and presence in my life. They never fail to evoke some kind of emotion or memory from deep within, especially if it is a particular piece that "trademarked" a period of my life, held some special meaning, or was basically "the song" that was attributed to a person or a group of people.

Anyway, after yet another DVD failed on me, I decided to dig out all my old audio CDs I have here and import them into the computer before they too suffer the fate of their less well-taken care of compatriots.

It was a mixed bag of emotions over the weekend as I went through songs... some old, some relatively new, but each bringing back memories of the past. Some going back as far as when I was 12. It's funny how one doesn't forget even after all these years. Each memory when dug out as fresh as if it just happened yesterday.

As iTunes slowly played and went through the songlist, it was akin to looking at shelf after shelf of books... each book being a portion of my life. Each bearing a title of a song. Each period bookended (is there such a word?) similarly by a song tied to some kind of event.

It's almost as good as browsing through an old photo album. Except the pictures exist only in my head. If only there was some way of bringing them out now...

We have it all now

Well, not exactly. As the saying goes, one wants his cake and eat it too. But sometimes there are things that stop us from sinking our teeth into the sweet savoury (insert cake of choice). Or perhaps an even more pathetic situation would be finding your plate empty. No cake.

But if the plate was a city by the name of Jogja, and what is available on the buffet table are natural disasters, this old city with a rich and strong Javanese tradition, certainly has one too many things on its plate now.

A very much active volcano that has erased a few hamlets from existence in its history, an earthquake that leveled 90% of the southern regency, and now... there are whirlwinds. One of which tore through the Gadjah Mada campus, uprooting poles, trees, snapping them into half, ...

Anyway back to the topic of cakes. Well, there is one now. But yet I am hesitant to really take a bite. Is it really because I don't want to, or sub-consciously I want to but am afraid and fearful. This is probably just the same old problem rehashed over and over again. And oddly enough, experience has not made me any wiser in making decisions like this. Guess I'll just go with the flow and not think too much.

If only it was that easy eh?

Where are all the ants?

Broken wings. Millions of them (Ok. Maybe I'm exaggerating. But there were certainly thousands at least) lay all over the ground when I walked to campus early this morning. But where were all the ants that "owned" those wings? It was as if yesterday's deluge had washed out just about every single colony here in the city.

Anyway, this wasn't really intended to be talking about ants and their wings. But rather, their determination to accomplish a certain task no matter how difficult. Think: moving food that is impossibly larger and heavier than themselves.

I finally decided to write. Well, not here. But write a story of sorts as prompted by a dear friend as a means of filling in spare time I have on my hands. Having never done this before the task certainly seems daunting as I pondered on a plot and outline. And yesterday while standing in the local Apple reseller's shop... I hit upon it. A story entirely written on a mobile device. Character by character. Word by word. I shall slowly flesh out the story. And the best part? No pressure to have to sit down and open up a laptop to type, or have paper and pen with me all the time.

Ok, lousy reason to add to the list of "Why I need (read: want) an iPod touch". *cackle* But at least I can find some use for it other than purely for iCal and playing music. :D